I decided to take my journey notes here rather than in my notebook. The theme of love is wonderful. The story I shared of the mantra I have been practicing has been one of embracing and loving my work, my wonderful colleagues, and my customers....for teaching me patience, resilience, collaboration, trust, and receiving the help of others in the face of challenges. Recently, and particularly last night, I have been having horrible dreams...of chaos, of not being able to find my way, of carrying large heavy bags that I can hardly lift and my legs are weak...they can't hold me up or lift me up stairs. My arms cannot lift anything. I am stuck and trapped and the only way is if I drop something to grab someone's hand. I am not very good at that. So, on the call I was vividly remembering my challenge with our journey sessions in 2019 in Clifden, Ireland...at the very end of my Adult Gap Year of travel...a challenging time for me...I was excited to go home and yet sad for the end of my trip. I felt like a failure in the journey process. I was the novice, the newbie. Jerry could do it. Cindy could do it. But I could not. After a year of travel and growing and getting stronger...and hiking up mountains by myself, I thought I could too. I was very hard on myself that day in the bog. I wanted to cry. I left the group and went to a large rock to sit and gaze at the horizon...and feel sorry for myself. Cindy had known me for years by then, unlike Jerry and Michelle, so she sought me out and asked me to join the group. She reminded me it was my journey and could feel like whatever I wanted it to. She gave me love and freedom. I had to lower my guard to receive it. Back at the Coast Guard House the next day...after Jerry and I had take a day off to take a beautiful drive, walk the beach, and just be, Michelle took me on my own private journey...guiding me the whole way. And after receiving her help. I had a really enlightened experience. My way. I had to be able to receive love. Given the fact that the day at the bog and receiving Cindy's and Michelle's help that day was just filling me up on the call today, when Michelle asked us to grab something...I grabbed my SoulLove stone with the birds...a beloved gift from someone from whom love was easy to receive. I breathed deeply back into that bog, also channeling the card of 8 wands which I could see in my mind. I could smell the deep grass, I lay next to the hard rock, I heard the sounds of the bog water nearby, I could feel the mountain before me in my mind. And I thought: *I am the deep smell of the bog...connected deeply to the history of this land that has lived and died before me. *I am the hard rock...steady and impenetrable for myself and my friends, colleagues and family...and for myself. *I am the grass...that grows, dies, nourishes, lives on and on. *I am the water, the well of life. *I am the strength of that mountain before me that I have climbed, and can climb again. The strength and power of my muscles and heart and soul are within me. *Check the evidence! I have done this before, I can do it again. Stop beating myself up. In the journey I could feel this. My lower back immediately stopped hurting. My heart beat stronger. My head and my heart grew lighter. I acknowledged and accepted myself with love and gratitude. With love and gratitude. With love and gratitude. "Mission Joy!"